Coping?

Over the last few days, I've wanted to blog about several things, but haven't. I want to be clear when I write about something, and I want it to be meaningful, so I struggle with what to blog and what not to. So I guess I'll just lay out what's been on my mind lately.
Dealing with the loss of our baby has been another hardship that many have to endure in life. It hurts, and strangely enough, it brings out other insecurities that we have, but it isn't insurmountable. We all have to learn how to deal with disappointments in life, but some are harder to swallow than others. Of course most of us come to the realization that we'll not be rich beyond our wildest dreams and our jobs may not even be what we'd like, but we find a way to move on anyway. We also may wonder "what if..." about many things in our past, but most normal functional adults find happiness in other things and try not to dwell on the disappointments in life. Lately, I've been wondering about some of my priorities in life and why I do what I do. Exercising is a smart thing to do because it's a stress reliever and the elevated heartrates are good for my heart and metabolism, etc... Then there's the competitive aspect of what I do. To really be competitive, I have to put in more hours of training and train harder I do for "maintenance" workouts and this takes away time from other things in my life. As I get older, it becomes more of a problem as other things move up on the priority list. This is frustrating because I don't feel I'm satisfied with my performance(s) in competitions. I don't know if I'll ever be completely satisfied and that scares me. It's easier to resolve myself to things I know I'll never have, but the things that ARE attainable, but are just out of reach (or seem to be) are starting to wear on my patience and tranquility. Once, I heard happiness defined as "Being content with what you have while working towards what you want." But what if you never achieve what you want? Then what?
Settling for mediocrity makes me so ill to my core that I find it intolerable. Especially for myself, but I find myself compromising all the time. Yeah everyone has to deal with this in life, but I HATE knowing that I've wasted potential.

Sad day

On Wednesday, Allison started getting a little cramping and began spotting lightly. I looked it up on the web and found out that it could be something benign and could be perfectly natural, but with us being new to this, we decided to call the Doctor anyway. The Dr reassured us that everything was fine since it was light spotting and said that if we wanted to come in for a checkup anyway, that would be ok. So we made an appointment to see her on Thursday morning. Our first sonogram was scheduled for next week on May 2nd, but they decided to go ahead and do one when we came in to make sure everything was ok. It wasn't. The nurse couldn't find a heartbeat and she could tell that the baby's development was a few days short of being just over 10 weeks which is where we were at. My initial excitement at seeing our new baby for the first time was short lived when we realized that it isn't coming to fruition. Of course we then had a good cry and talked our options over with the Doctor. the Dr was very reassuring and had a sensitive bedside manner and was understanding, but I guess she deals with that pretty often. We've heard how common it is to miscarry and we know that we can (and will) try again, but just having the head knowledge still doesn't assuage our disappointment. It's also strange how we have the feelings of guilt when we KNOW we didn't do anything wrong. The doctor also said that's a common feeling when experiencing a loss like this. I guess time heals all wounds.

Adventure Race season has started!

As should be obvious by my profile and previous posts, I LOVE adventure racing. This past Sunday was the first AR of the series for the Blue Hills Adventure Races and fellow Trail Nerd Shane Jones agreed to race with me in them. A quick recap of the previous few days should set the stage for our physical condition at race time. I was in a bike wreck on Tuesday and still had some pretty bad bruising and stitches in my butt and had JUST has some of the parts on my bike replaced. Shane went out on Saturday night to a Counting Crows concert and got hammered and stayed out till well after 1 am KNOWING that I was giving him a wakeup call around 5 am on my way over to pick him up. When I got there, he was ready but not very awake. We drove the 2 hours over to Manhattan, KS and I let him and Allison sleep so that everyone would be fresh when we got there. This time I remembered to eat a sensible meal the night before so as to avoid any stomach issues during the race. Mushroom and Basil Linguine the night before was a touch on the oily side, but didn't cause any GI problems.
When we got there, we checked in and began setting up our gear in the Transition area. As is the case with adv races, you don't get the order of events nor the distances of them until after the race starts. The pre-race meeting went well and we started off with a ride and tie in which Shane started off running while tied to me on the bike. Once getting to the checkpoint, we received more directions on how to proceed throughout the race with a crude map of the course. Most of the teams were still packed together and didn't really start to spread out untill the kayak section. Shane and I took the lead during the trail run but soon fell behind in the kayak section. This leg was miserable because our inflatable boat had a leak in it and we were taking on water while losing air. We had 10 teams pass us on this part so we knew we had our work cut out for us. After the kayak section we hit the bike and I discovered that my rear shock was blown. It wouldn't hold air. (a fact that I SHOULD have noticed before this race) This was also a result of the wreck I had on Tuesday but just overlooked it when getting the other parts repaired. I pumped it up as best I could but it wouldn't hold any PSI and therefore my bike was sagging and VERY inefficient for the whole ride. As if that weren't to be uncomforatble enough, I also had to sit sideways on the seat due to the 6 stitches still holding my left butt cheek together. Luckily, Shane was a VERY stong biker and he was able to pull me along nicely. I drafted off him for much of the ride. Now THAT'S teamwork! During the ride, we encountered 2 different "special tests" that we had to successfully complete to avoid a time penalty. We aced both of them and each time passed several teams ahead of us gaining ground on the leaders. We finished up finishing in second place overall which is MUCH better than I expected to do in our condition. if you want to read more about the race, you can read my report. Shane and I won this race last year and I was hoping to repeat, but I'm still very happy with our effort and we still got to bring home some hardware.

Need the right frame of mind!

Most people think I'm in a psychotic frame of mind for even thinking about doing this adventure race after this injury on Tuesday. No matter. I know my body and even more importantly, I know how I react to things that I know I could've or should've done. Regrets are to be avoided at all costs to me and I never have regrets about physical injuries to myself. Anyway, what I need to do is to put myself in the correct frame of mind so that I'm not pushing TOO hard nor am I expecting too much out of my injured self for this race on Sunday. Let's hope that the physical toll I'll pay for DOING this one is less than the mental/emotional I paid for NOT doing another one some time ago. (long story)

a little setback on training...

Tuesday afternoon, I went out to the park to get some strength training in on the bike before running with the Trail Nerds. After doing a loop in the trails, I hit the paved trail for a quick lap around the park and to work the hills on that paved loop. Halfway into it, I was going too fast on one of the downhills and wiped out on a curve. I was going 31 MPH on my mtn bike and would've made the turn (like many times before) if I didn't have to try to avoid hitting a lady who was out walking. It's not her fault. I was going way too fast to be safely in control with other people on that trail so it's my own stupidity that caused my wreck. I laid the bike down while on the brakes and slid off the trail right into a tree which crushed my chainrings and the impact caused my seatpost to snap. Realizing that my bike wasn't able to be ridden out of there, I had to slowly and painfully walk it out 2 more miles back to the parking lot. From there, I went home, changed clothes into something more comfortable and went to the Emergency Room where I had a nice wait. 6 and a half hours later, I got to go home with a few stitches and lots of gauze. While there, I had to get my neck, pelvis, and ribs x-rayed, but thankfully nothing was broken. The ribs are VERY sore now and probably will be for the race on Sunday. It's a good thing I have a spare bike or I might have to miss out on it. Even though I'll be quite a bit slower than planned, I'm still doing this race the best I can.

A little more on service...

Service is nothing more than a form of giving. Maybe the best form of giving, but that's not to be debated here. One of my favorite books of all time is The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. I think I like it so much because it's short (matching my attention span) and very easy to understand. To me, the philosophy in it seems somewhat Existentialist with a touch of Buddhism, but is good for interpersonal relationships nonetheless. In this book one of my favorite chapters is on Giving.

"And you receivers - and you are all receivers - assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives. Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings; For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity..."

This isn't saying to accept without any gratitude nor is it suggesting that one should be a receiver or a gift without having any sense of debt, but rather to understand that giving and receiving should not be a contractual binding of giver and receiver in equal measure. Whether you equate it to the movie Pay It Forward or consider it your civic duty, everyone should experience being a giver and a receiver when the opposite is not reciprocated. It's nice to be appreciated for the effort and work you put into something but just because you may not be appreciated or thanked for something doesn't mean that it was any less of a good deed. And on the receiving end, to be the recipient of someone's kindness is a gift itself whether you realize it or not. You're giving them the opportunity to be of service so although one should be aware of the need to give back, you should not "be overmindful of your debt" to the giver. I've had people who are indeed thankful for help I've given them on projects and they repeatedly thank me and ask how they can repay me for my kindness, but all I want is for them to say a simple sincere thank you and be willing to repay it with their own effort somewhere else in likewise manner. If I need help, perhaps one day I'll be the recipient of it. If not, I'll continue giving regardless.
Another example of this is in the Bible. John 13:4-17 shows us how Jesus washed the feet of His disciples. This man was their teacher, their mentor, and the washing of feet was a lowly task given to servants so for Jesus to humble himself was an example servanthood he wanted his followers to emulate.

Family Biz and philosophy?

Allison's sister came to visit us last Thursday from North Carolina. I really like having family and/or friends come to see us because it's so rare. Most everyone expects us to go everywhere else to see them instead of them coming to where we live. I realize it's not very convenient for family or friends to visit us anymore now that we live in Kansas, but we really appreciate it when they do. Of course, it's also harder for family and/or friends to make the trip to see us when there's kids to consider because that complicates traveling and we understand that. We'll be getting an even better understanding of that very soon now that we're going to be joining the ranks of parenthood ourselves! Yup! That's right, I'm gonna be a Daddy! Allison told me about 3 weeks ago and we told my family on our last trip to Pensacola and they were all really happy for us. I think some of my family had given up on us since we've been married for over 12 years now and they all know how much of a kid I am they all figured we'd decided not to have them. But.... here we are. I'll be honest, it really scares me because I know things are going to change completely. That's scary because I really like the way things are now. I like our relationship and our ability to be spontaneous. I like having time and money to train and travel and go out to eat often. I like a lot of things that I know are going to change and that scares me.
But at the same time, I'm excited about it for several reasons. As might be pretty evident by all the mentionings of "I" above, I do recognize many selfish characteristics of our current life that will have to be relinquished. As awful as this may seem to many people, I cherish this idea somewhat because I have experienced firsthand the value and sense of reward that accompanies putting something else in life ahead of yourself and your own selfish desires. Many people understand some of the little values of self discipline.
1. controlling your diet for health reasons
2. being disciplined in training to reach goals
3. being disciplined financially to reach goals (saving money)

These are small examples of when people make their own selfish wants second to a higher purpose. Even though I know I'll still yearn for the days when I could do my own thing, I know that the benefits of putting my selfishness aside for the benefit of my wife and my child will reap rewards that I can't imagine (and probably don't deserve). Many people may read this and roll their eyes and say that parenthood causes instinct to kick in and it won't be viewed as selflessness and they're certainly entitled to their own opinion. The main point to this poorly worded babble is that I encourage everyone to engage in some form of (sacrificial) service to others. It's not a "good deed" if you get something other than a good feeling in return. Giving money may be necessary and helpful, but it's so impersonal that it rarely yields any personal satisfaction and thus isn't repeated often. What I'm advocating is giving of yourself, your time and your own personal effort to something for which you'll get nothing in return. Get out and volunteer! It's very liberating! The harder it is to do, the more it's worth it! And THAT'S how I'm trying to get myself psyched up for parenthood! Thoughts?

Red Bridge Ramble and GETTING READY!!!

Saturday was the Red Bridge Ramble out at Minor Park in Kansas City, MO. The Trail Nerds run at Minor Park regularly later in the summer because it doesn't get infested with tics like some of the other parks. Instead of rehashing my whole race, I'll let Bad Ben's report suffice.

The 2006 version of the Red Bridge Ramble (KCMO) is now history. The weather on race day was absolutely perfect, and everyone that showed up to run were in good spirits. Forty-five runners entered, which surpassed last year's participation by 300%! We had quite a few newbie trailrunners who were "chomping at the bit" to get their feet wet (literally).

The race course is on the unpaved Blue River Parkway trail system. It crosses the Blue River 4 times and has a variety of different kinds of terrain to run on, which includes: wooded, rocky & rooty trails, open grassland, twisty single-track, and flat, fast dirt trails.

Caleb Chatfield, of Merriam Kansas ripped through the course in 54:58. Veteran trailrunner Kyle Amos followed in 2nd place at 57:02. Lightning-fast trail-newbie Susie Scheer took third overall, and first female in 1:00:45! Following them to round-out the top five were Rich McNally and Jeff Behrens. Second and third-place females were Angela Ballard and Rachel Westendorf.

A few awards were given out, including two to James Barker. He won the "lost completely beyond all possible reason" award, and the award for "most ticks." He also took a very good "competitive fall," (which I witnessed), but was surpassed in that department by Jeff "Trail Rash" Behrens. (I still owe you an award, Jeff).

Note: We had a slight timing device issue, so most of the times were off by a small margin. The order of finish is very accurate, though.

Special thanks to the volunteers:
Markos Jacquez - who helped mark the course with me (the night before the race until 10 p.m.), by actually running it.
Kyle Amos, Ben Reeves, and Caleb Chatfield - who helped un-mark the course.
Dave Suptic and a helper - Registration & finish line.
Lou Joline - half-way water station and starting line food.

Order of Finish
1 54:58 Caleb Chatfield M
2 57:02 Kyle Amos M
3 1:00:45 Susie Scheer F
4 Rich McNally M
5 Jeff Behrens M
6 "Good" Ben Reeves M
7 Jason Crosby M
8 Stuart Johnson M
9 Frederick Menninger M
10 Angela Ballard F
11 Eric Otte M
12 Rachel Westendorf F
13 Aubrey Appleman F
14 Charlotte Barksdale F
15 Emily Horn F
16 Kent Baker M
17 "Bad" Ben Holmes M
18 Deb Johnson F
19 Sherry Sehring F
20 Dave Rowell M
21 Mona Latimer F
22 Allison Baker F
23 Jonette Kilmar F
24 Gregg Lynn M
25 Kevin Maggard M
26 Christina Sipu F
27 Philip Wharton M
28 Kevin O'Sullivan M
29 Don Little M
30 Sophia Wharton F
31 Dave Hoefer M
32 Paula Keltner F
33 1:38:06 Lou Joline M
34 Hazel Mattews F
35 1:39:00 Susan Robinette F
36 Mary Donahue F
37 Anne Cook F
38 Bob Cook M
39 Beth Hilt F
40 Verna Troutman F
41 Jackie Defoe F
42 Gregory Mattews M
43 Steve Mattews M
44 Laura Gawecki F
45 James Barker M

I posted a few photos at: http://kctrailnerds.blogspot.com
Dick Ross took some great shots and has them on his website at: http://www.seekcrun.com/
His photos will probably be posted also (soon) at the KC Star website at: http://kcsweb.kcstar.com/projects/Community_Faces/


Happy trails,

Ben Holmes
Race Director

I did have a few additions to make for this race. For some reason, I can't get it through my head to eat a sensible meal the night before a race so this time I had Chipotle which I can never turn down, but suffice it to say, it's NOT a smart pre-race meal! Also, I think I'd have pulled in 3rd or 4th overall if I hadn't needed to get up close and personal with nature during the run, but all runners know that's a part of being a runner. IT HAPPENS! Even with those episodes (2 stops in the woods) I still managed to complete the 8 mile trail run in 65 minutes so I figured my actual running time was probably closer to 7:30 miles. That was a really fun run to race and it was my first time to see those trails in the daylight. The night group runs are the only other time I've ever been out there so it was a cool new experience for me!

Good weekend with the family

This past weekend, Allison and I went to Pensacola, FL to visit my family. We hadn't seen them in a little over 8 months and Allison was needing to see her nieces and nephews. While there, we decided to get in a little 5k run called the Hawkshaw Lagoon 5k which benefits organizations for missing children. For this run, I decided to pace my 16 yr old niece and see how she runs. She's been getting into running for the past few months and I was hoping to be able to give her a few tips. She has a great stride and she impressed me with the effort she put forth. Even when I was pushing her, she didn't try to quit and she kept giving her best effort. She had a personal best time in the 5k taking second place in her age group with a time of 28:46. This was the first time she had ever broken a 30 minute 5k and she was very happy with her performance. I was so proud of her. When she saw the the girl who beat her only beat her time by 1 minute she exclaimed, "I could've run a minute faster!" I hate that we live so far apart. It would be really fun if we could run together. She's a really cool girl and I wish I could be more of a part of her growing up. In the picture, from left to right, it's Alexis, Allison, my sister Ruth, and me.
Sunday we went out on my brother-in-law's boat and I had a brain fart and forgot to put on sunscreen. I now have a bit of sun poisoning on my chest and stomach and some sore shoulders. Even with the burns, I went out last night to my favorite park for some biking and running to work out some of the alcohol and fried foods that I polluted my system with over the last weekend. Rode for about 2.5 hours before running for 40 minutes in the trails. During the ride, the legs were complaining as I worked some crap out of my system and tried to get back in the groove. Didn't find a whole lot of energy in them, but I got in some good hill work and technical work in the trails on the bike and run.

Fun Duathlon

Did another duathlon on Saturday and had a blast! Allison and I agreed to help out Cowtown Cycling with getting the God's Country Duathlon together. We got out there around 7:20 and started helping set up and get the registration tent in order. Allison did the running and I did the biking. Ever since she broke her ankle on a mountain bike 5 years ago, she refuses to get back on one. :-( There were 5 teams in the relay division and over 200 entrants in the duathlon overall. Once Allison came in and tagged me to head out on the bike, we were in the middle to back-middle of the pack. Having not done the run, my legs were fresher than most of the bikers I was chewing up on the trail. This was a very fast non-technical trail and I had some new tires that I was trying out. They did great and I was only passed by one biker. Fellow Cowtown teammate (and elite cyclist) Damian Almanza passed me 2/3rds of the way through the first 9 mile loop and I wasn't able to get around some other bikers in time to get on his wheel to hang on. A few riders were unsure of trail ettiquette and their ability and if uncertainty strikes them while I'm in the middle of a pass, then keeping the rubber side down can be difficult. This was a good training race and we ended up getting third in the relay division due to some fast runners overtaking Allison in the last two mile run. This was the last race I'd planned on doing before the Adventure Race season kicks off in a few weeks.
This coming weekend, we're headed to Pensacola, FL to visit my family for a long weekend and we'll get in a little 5k charity run while there.

How old do you act?

You Are 22 Years OldYou Are 22 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Apparently I've got some growing up to do!

Great training week and weekend!

Got in some good recovery for the ailing achilles last week while still getting good workouts in at the gym. Did the necessary base mileage without pushing it too hard and made some good progress in the strengthening department. After running on Monday and Tues night, I decided to hit the trails on the bike for Thurs nite's workout and it was a good decision. Rested Friday after being in the gym Sunday through Thursday in addition to the runs and rides. Saturday morning, I felt really good and met the trail nerds out at Kill Creek Park for a morning run on some new trails. These are a bit different from our normal hangouts, but they were a lot of fun and fairly technical in sections. There's a few water crossings if you choose to take those trails (which of course we did) and these trails allow you to get as little or as much of a workout as you want. I can definitely see us coming back here more often. We ran for a little over 2 hours so I figure we did about 12-14 miles. Rested the remainder of that day and even went to Jardine's to get serenaded by Ms. Ida McBeth. Hearing her sing jazz is always a treat! It's so much fun watching and listening to her in person. Probably had too many vodka tonics for the run I was doing the next day, but I didn't know I'd have to work as hard as I did.
Brew to Brew:
Allison and I agreed to do the Brew to Brew with a new friend introduced to us by Allison's aerobics instructor. The guy we agreed to do this run with was the team captain and he told me via voicemail that we had a full team. He and I have played phone tag for the past 6 weeks and we've never had the chance to train together, but he's in good shape and since he was recommended by our personal trainer friend, we figured his judgements for teammates would be sound. I'll not drag this out too much, but the bottom line is that I RE-learned that I have to have the correct expectations when I go into something. We never planned to be competitive, but we DID plan to do our part to contribute to the team. It was just supposed to be a fun run (which it was) but it turned out to be more work than any of us expected. With one of the team members suffering from Plantar Fasciitis the other five of us that showed up knew we had our work cut out for us. Allison agreed to take a leg that was a little over 5 miles and she did great. she even did better than I expected so she surprised me and herself too I think. The girlfriend of one of the guys did a leg and two of the other guys agreed to do two legs each which left 3 remaining legs to be done in the 10 stage race. I agreed to do the other three, but I didn't really relish the idea. Overall, I did about 28-30 tough miles this weekend and am only mildly sore, but not too tired. Thankfully, the weather held out. We only had a sprinkling of rain and ice for a few minutes early on and the rest of the time the clouds threatened, but never dumped on us. The temp stayed around 40-43 degrees the whole time. This was a very well run race and was surprisingly well organized for the size and logisitcal complexity of it. I highly recommend running it if you ever get the chance.

Science Embracing Monotheism?

I was just reading this article and of course my previous post came to mind. It must be a little more common than I thought, but in general, my dealings with archaeologists, astronomers, mathematicians, and others associated with higher level sciences has left me with the impression that they're a humanistic, godless bunch. As much as I respect highly educated people, this doesn't affect my own beliefs, (as they are firmly rooted in personal experience) but I do find it interesting that there's so much variation in the opinions of God's existence. This reflects the variation in individuals' personalities, experiences, and further proves to me that there's a big difference between knowledge and wisdom.

Achilles problems

No, not that Achilles, the other one! -->
The first Achilles is for my sister's benefit!
My achilles tendon started bothering me during our scary run on Sunday when we were caught out in the storm. We weren't running very hard, but it just started out with a dull aching and then changed to a pulling type of feeling which led to pain eventually before we were finished. There were several hills that aggravated whatever it was making it hurt and I should've walked them instead of trying to push through it. I iced it twice on Sunday and it felt better on Monday so against common sense, I ran with the KC Track club on our Monday night 10k on the roads. This certainly didn't help any, but the pain was only moderate so I suffered through it because I need to keep up a base in the training before I start speed work. This week's training is just base mileage maintenance while I'm in the gym working on strength for the legs and upper body. After icing the right achilles Mon night, it felt better all day Tuesday. SO, last night, (Tues) I ran with the trail nerds out at SMP but only did one lap. I felt pretty good with only a slight pulling sensation during the run. This time, I let common sense prevail and only did one loop of the rocky rooty trails. Today, it's a little tight, and only a little sore, so I think I'll just hit the gym tonight instead of running and maybe I'll be ready for the hills of Wyco on Thursday evening.

Good but dangerous weekend!

My lovely wife volunteered to do a duathlon series with me and Saturday was the first one in this series. We did fairly well, (2nd in the co-ed relay) but I feel I did really well on the biking part which gave me a much needed boost in the confidence department. I only got passed by one person who is a phenomenal biker that normally races in the elite division so I didn't feel too bad about him passing me. I also was able to pass about 50-60 others in the trails and even lapped a few. For this race, we helped set up before hand and breakdown afterwards.
Sunday morning, we decided to hit the trails early. Instead of running with the trail nerds like I normally do, Allison (my wife) and I decided to run on our own at Shawnee Mission Park. We had checked the weather ahead of time and knew that some storms were moving in the area so we had to get the run in early to beat them. We got started about 7:45 and were halfway into the run (still 4 miles from the car) when we heard the tornado sirens sounding off! This really scared us and Allison started shaking and got chills she was so petrified. I reassured her that it was just a warning and might have even been a test (knowing better myself) because it really didn't look like tornado weather to me. At the time, it was mostly cloudy and we could see the REALLY nasty stuff moving in quickly so I told her that we could cut the run short and head back to the car so we wouldn't get wet. We got caught in a little shower anyway and a LOT of wind and even though it was a little scary, it was nothing compared to what my fellow trail nerds encountered during their run out in Lawrence! They were just a few miles from the tornado that ripped through the town of Lawrence damaging the school (University of Kansas) to the point that they had to cancel classes today. The guys were in the trails when they got hailed on, and blown around fiercely. Everyone managed to dodge the flying debris safely, but had a hard time getting back home because of all the trees and other debris in the roads. Pretty scary stuff!
Later that afternoon, I went over to Bad Ben's Nanobrewery to watch the magic in progress and to watch some redneck theater! The tornado sirens came on again two more times that afternoon and we just sat by watching the clouds blow by with some awesome Belgian brews in hand.
All in all it was a good training weekend and I'm feeling the motivation return so hopefully, I can crank it up again!

Thoughts on Science vs Faith?

I'm WAY behind in my reading, but in an effort to catch up, I'm resolving myself to actually FINISH books that I start now. There's about 4 that I've read over half of and never finished and those are top on the list.
Recently, I finished reading Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. This and the Da Vinci Code have been somewhat controversial books because of their themes and some things that Dan Brown states as "fact" in these books. I won't give away any spoilers, but I would like to post an excerpt from Angels and Demons that I found interesting.
The setup is the Pope has been assassinated and his understudy is addressing the world in a news conference.
“Science may have alleviated the miseries of disease and drudgery and provided and array of gadgetry for our entertainment and convenience, but it has left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelengths and frequencies. The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equations. Even our self-worth as human beings has been destroyed. Science proclaims that Planet Earth and its inhabitants are a meaningless speck in the grand scheme. A cosmic accident.” He paused. “Even the technology that promises to unite us, divides us. Each of us is now electronically connected to the globe, and yet we feel utterly alone. We are bombarded with violence, division, fracture, and betrayal. Skepticism has become a virtue. Cynicism and demand for proof has become enlightened thought. Is it any wonder that humans now feel more depressed and defeated than they have at any point in history? Does science hold anything sacred? Science looks for answers by probing our unborn fetuses. Science even presumes to rearrange our own DNA. It shatters God’s world into smaller and smaller pieces in quest of meaning… and all it finds is more questions.”

Overall, I liked the book but was a little disappointed in it for a few reasons which I will not state here. I'd recommend it as an interesting read though.
If anyone wants to respond, I'm curious to hear what your thoughts are on the following questions.
Often, (as stated above) the answers that science gives us aren't always conclusively definitive and continue to lead to more questions. Is there a place for faith in today's world? Why or why not?

and yet another reminder

Saturday was crappy. Chilly and rainy and having just come back from the ski trip, I wasn't in the mood to run in those conditions. Plus, I had a lot of laundry to catch up on! Sunday, I decided last minute (I'm bad about planning ahead for some races) to do a local mountain bike race. Normally, I'm a multisport athlete, but I like to do the runs and bike races every once in a while to see how strong I am compared to those who do JUST that event. I'll probably never be very good at any one thing unless I can learn to focus on training for that type of event. That being said, the bike race went well and I should'nt be too disappointed with my performance. The general fitness was ok, but my leg strength still wasn't where it should be. I got passed mostly on the uphills, but was able to make up ground on the downhills and on the really technical sections. Even though I didn't win or come in dead last, I still expected to do better. In a multi-sport event like adventure races or duathlons, I'm much stronger and my performance reflects such. Still, as I get older, I need these frequent wake up calls to keep me focused on how hard I need to work on everything.
After the race yesterday, I started taking Glucosamine and Chondroitin and am also supplementing the diet with Udo's Choice Oil Blend to help ensure the right proportions of Omega 3 and 6. Being in Kansas now, we don't get to eat much fish anymore. :-(

Playing in the Garden of Eden, UT

Just got back from skiing out in Utah. Went to see an old friend and made some new ones. Utah is a beautiful state and it always makes me wish I lived there or in CO. Being such an outdoorsy person, I need to live somewhere that the land invites and promotes the kind of things I like to do and UT and CO are just that type of place.
This was a guys trip and it was Brian's first time in snow. He caught onto skiing right away and we all had a great time. We were able to hit Snow Basin, Brighton for two days, and finished up at Powder Mountain which was absolutely amazing! Powder Mountain is probably the best kept secret in the skiing world. Still relatively cheap lift tickets and has the largest land area for skiing in the United States. Yes, even bigger than Vail according to one of the mountain hosts.
Pics will follow soon!
Even though the legs got a decent workout while skiing, the rest of me went to mush. I drank WAYYY too much and ate all the wrong things so I'll have to work really hard to get it back into shape to resume my quest to get back into competitive form. Hopefully it won't take too long.

getting stronger

Had a decent run last night. When I woke up yesterday morning though, I didn't think I'd be doing any workouts. Since last Friday, I've been fighting off the crud. Haven't come down with anything full on yet, but it's been trying to overtake me. Yesterday morning, I felt the worst I have so far with fever and coughing with junk in my sinuses and chest. Did a hot shower and some Zycam with EmergenC and hot Green Ginger Tea and felt somewhat better. Time has not been on my side with training so after work, I decided to head out to the park to get in a short ride before the run. I didn't have to knock over any newbies on the trail this week and I was able to get in a good short loop in which helped loosen up the legs a little. Some of the sounds my bike is making tells me it needs a LOT of maintenance. Got back in time to stow the bike and meet the trail nerds for our Tuesday night ritual. 8 others showed up (including 2 newbies) and Bad Ben lead the pace as usual. The first loop went smoothly with a slightly faster than normal first loop pace. Finished that one in 42 mins. One new guy headed back to his car and the rest of us soon continued on the second one. Some of us were still talking at the trailhead when Bad Ben quietly took off on the second loop. Caleb jumped on his heels and I followed in line and the rest got the hint quickly. We smoked through the first three quarters of a rocky mile before settling into a more regular fast pace. The last 2 miles, I felt my energy draining fast and I knew it was the germs in my body gobbling up all my reserves. I was able to hold on and finish strong for that 34 minute lap. Within 120 seconds of finishing, as my breathing subsided and my heartrate returned to normal, I started feeling terrible. The coughing (which was absent during the run) returned as did an immediate headache and I started shivering uncontrollably. Couldn't get warm even though I drove home with the heat cranked up all the way and it was only 43 degrees outside. Once home, I sat in the shower until the water heater had given me all it had. Then downed some Nyquil and went to sleep a little earlier than normal. Today I feel a little better, but am still hitting the Zycam and EmergenC in the hopes of mitigating this crap before it gets worse.
In summary, I'm not sure if running while sick is good for the muscles or not. I felt great during most of the run and I know my legs needed the workout. Can you really make progress in training if your body is fighting off sickness?

Equality?

Somewhere along the line, some Americans seem to have lost what equality among people means. This does NOT mean that individuals are completely equal human beings. As should be VERY obvious, people are not physically equal. Nor are they mentally, emotionally, or intellectually equal. The simple fact in life is that some people are taller than others, smarter than others, skinnier or faster than other people, and the list of physical differences can go on and on. This obvious inequality is lost on many inDUHviduals who think that they are equal to allothers in every way. In our society, what equality means is everyone has EQUAL protection under the law regardless of physical traits. People have EQUAL opportunities regardless of intellectual capabilities and people (should) have EQUAL rights under the law as well. Many seem to ignore the fact that with rights come responsibilities. People with equal rights also have equal responsibilities regardless of physical characteristics. 1=1. green = green. easy = easy and injustice = injustice regardless of how you justify it. Does one injustice cancel out or make right another injustice current or past? Again, I refer you to mathematics. 1 = 1. 1 does not equal 2+5-4x15 plus or minus a few concessions here and there. IF it's not the SAME then it's not equal. Brown vs the Board of Education established the precedent that Seperate is INHERENTLY INEQUAL and therefore segregation was wrong. The equality issue transcends race. This pertains to intellectual ability, physical abilities or lack thereof, and work ethics which encompass many of the aforementioned traits. Our country is great because of the ability of the people (who run the gammut of inequalities) to exercise equal voices in deciding the future of the country and it's laws. Our country is also a laughing stock to the rest of the world because of our OBVIOUS lack of understanding and lack of ability to put equality into practical application. If a job requires X, then all applicants, short, tall, fat, skinny, black, brown, pasty white, and everything in between have equal opportunity to apply/try out for the job. If the job requires picking apples from tall trees, I would expect to lose out to a taller person because I am short and couldn't do the job on my own as well as someone taller. I most certainly WOULD NOT expect the employer to make the playing field easier for me by providing a ladder. That would cost him more money, making me less valuable. So why is it that when people are up against others with whom they are not physically or mentally not equal to, they expect special treatment to make things "equal" for them. Once again people, equal = THE SAME. Not the same with special circumstances. I wouldn't expect to be hired over an attractive girl with for a job at Hooters. Hooters is a business with a theme and they know what makes money for them and the employees are a large part of that so why can't Hooters decide who they hire and how they employ them? Why must that be legislated? If people live in the same community, go to the same school, have the same teachers, then why should they take seperate tests? Our country is perpetuating differentiation and subsequent dissention among the masses with it's application of injustice under the guise of "equality".
Thoughts?

Smokin night run!

Yesterday morning, I FINALLY got my lazy butt out of bed in time to go to the gym at 6 am for some weights. While lifting, I pulled something in my neck and had painfully limited movement the rest of the day. Got to Shawnee Mission Park around 5 pm and was able to hit the trails on the bicycle for a loop and a half. Had to knock some guy over on the trails who wouldn't move over and couldn't hear my three requests for him to yield because he was riding with his iPod cranked WAY up. He was pissed when I knocked him over, but it wasn't intentional and it was tight single track. Maybe he learned something from it. Ride faster or turn the music down. Anyway, I went down pretty hard during the second loop and had to cut the ride a bit short so I could make the run with the guys and not make them late. Plus, my hand was killing me from the fall in which I caught myself on some rocks. Nothing broken I don't think, but the bruising and swelling tells me that the tissue bruise is deep. Once I got back and stowed the bike, some of the trail nerds had already gathered and were ready to go at the appointed time. My legs were somewhat warmed up by the ride, but I needed to work on the transition muscles so I pushed more than we normally do on the first loop. Since I led the way, the pace was mine to set and we blew through the first 4.7 mile loop in 35 mins on the hilly, rocky, and rooty single track. I heard a few protests and we waited for recovery confirmation every time someone fell, but they're tough runners and held with me. At the end of the first loop only one runer dropped off claiming he was about to puke. We waited about 3 or 4 mins for everyone to catch their breath and get their heartrate down before continuing on the second loop. The second time around one of the runners went down pretty hard and we slowed a bit more after that so as not to let him fall behind. Still, we finished that second one in 38 mins. All in all, a good day training for me minus the two injuries. I guess that's part of conditioning.

Building Endurance and tolerance!

For the 2006 Psycho Wyco, I got at least one of my wishes. It snowed and the normally muddy course stayed somewhat frozen for much of the race. There were over 200 participants in the race with over 100 of them doing the 10 mile portion. AS USUAL, I went out WAY too fast (I have a bad habit of doing that) and ran the first loop in 1 hr and 45 mins because I paced off some of the 10 milers and ran some of the hills that I SHOULD’VE walked. For the first loop it was still snowing pretty hard and we had a decent ground cover. I stayed near the front (top 15 or so) for most of the 1st loop and enjoyed the soft beautiful snow. Others behind us didn’t enjoy it as much in the tight, twisty, single track portions once it became packed and much more slippery. At one point, a deer came crashing through the woods between myself and the runner in front of me missing me by only 15 feet or so. It looked to be about 150 lbs and a collision with that could’ve been bad. Pretty exciting! I should’ve tried to keep the first lap closer to 2 hours so that I’d know what kind of time I had to play with at the end AND I would’ve had more energy. On the second lap, I paid for not holding back more. I bonked hard for MOST of the second loop. In what Bad Ben affectionately called the Wyandotte triangle, I walked the last third of it (a one mile narrow twisty single track section)getting passed quite a bit and seeing some familiar faces. Shane Jones caught up with me and I decided to try to push a little and keep pace with him. He was looking strong and running pretty well and we ran together for about 4 miles until I lost sight of him toward the end of the second portion of tight single track that us Trail Nerds had built. My mind and legs were out of it for almost 10 full miles. I’ve bonked before, but never for that long. Even though I suffered through it, I never considered quitting the race, but I definitely need to evaluate why it took me so long to recover from it. That second lap took me just over 2hrs and 20 mins! As I struggled into the third loop and hit the first part of the tight single track section, (Wyandotte triangle) I began to feel better mentally and physically and was able to push a little more. The 2 Motrin I downed at the starting line going into the third loop began to kick in and helped ease some of the pain. Unfortunately, the snow had begun to melt and the familiar Wyco mud was back! Even WITH the mud, the trail was a LOT more fun to me for the third loop, but I’d already lost so much ground that I was still disappointed in my overall performance upon finishing. Still, the trail was VERY well marked and the aid stations were so well manned and organized that even though I knew a lot of what went into putting this race on, I was still impressed with it.
Allison also did this run. She did the 10 miler in a little over 2 and a half hours. This was the longest race she's ever done and her first trail run! I'm so proud of her! She had run this course with us Trail Nerds twice before in training so she knew what she was getting into and still did it anyway.
There were a few road runner weenies that whined a little here and there, but since the race, I’ve heard nothing but praise for it and have even seen emails declaring some trail converts! For my second 50k, my time was a little better than the first one on a MUCH harder course. The next one I do, I will have a better strategy and I hope my time will reflect some tough lessons I’m learning! One thing about this race that I forgot to mention is that I committed the cardinal sin by racing in brand new shoes that I had not run/trained in before nor had I really even broken in! Luck was on my side though as my new Vasque Velocity shoes performed flawlessly. They were very comfortable except for the top of the left shoe leaving a bruise on my instep where it was tied. The down hills forced it onto my foot and I’m thinking it may have been tied a little too tight. One thing I noticed about them was that after about mile 16 or so, I began to feel more of the trail through the soles so I think the Montrail Hardrocks have thicker soles than the Vasque, but overall, the Vasque’s are much more comfortable even if they are a tad on the heavy side.

Saturday’s and Sunday’s post race parties mostly included eating and drinking and recalling personal race stories, and drinking, and telling past race stories and drinking, and some more eating while thanking Ben for putting on the race and drinking some more. BTW, Ben makes some awesome beer!

So for now, I’m taking today off taking today off to continue to recover but will hit the weights tomorrow and begin replacing some of the running miles with biking mileage. I have a week and a half to train before heading off to ski for a week in UT and then a week after that before my first duathlon of the season so I have to continue training hard. Some dietary changes are still in order for me, but adding some glucosamine is definitely in order.

Here goes!

Well, tomorrow is the Psycho Wyco and I'm not sure I'm completely prepared for it. In fact, I'm debating on whether or not I should wear a pair of shoes OTHER than what I've been training in. Until now, I've been doing all my trail running in my Montrail Hardrocks, but I just got a pair of Vasque Velocity and LOVE them so far. Haven't run in them yet though so I'm not sure how my feet will respond to them on the trails. I want to do well, but I also have to protect my body from any long term injury because of the upcoming Adv Race season in which I hope to be competitive. This time, I can't go all out and psychotically drive myself through whatever pain I have to achieve a decent finish. I can only hope that my training thusfar will help me do satisfactorily. Either that or hope that I'm racing against some poor slobs who are less prepared than myself.

"Modern" medicine

Had a decent run last night. After twisting the ankle twice in the first loop, I decided not to do a second one. Gotta make sure I feel as good as possible this weekend for the Psycho Wyco. We also had some young newbies. College kids really have a knack for irritating me these days. Maybe it's because people who think they know it all really bother those of us who do!

My mom also called last night and told me the latest news on her husband Frank's health. Frank has a LARGE tumor (benign) in his throat and has a few arteries blocked. They're in Atlanta getting treatment from a specialist in all the procedures he has to have done. Frank has had a few panic attacks that cause him breathing problems. These are very REAL breathing problems even if they are brought on by self-induced emotional/mental trauma. The mind has such a profound effect on our physiological state, that pumping chemicals into our bodies to counteract some effects seems to be how our doctors prefer to treat it. She wanted the doctors to give him something to calm him down. I would want him to have a counselor to help him deal with the psychological root of the physiological symptoms. She wants them to give him a quick fix and that's what makes the drug companies rich and the doctor's jobs easier. We commonly refer to this type of treatment as treating the symptom not the cause. When we visit a doctor for aches and pains, they normally prescribe the drug of the month whether it be a muscle relaxer or the latest anti-inflamatory and this has the effect of making some of the pain go away temporarily. They're giving things that mask the pain while the body heals itself instead of getting to the root of the matter and trying to find out what caused/causes the problems to begin with. The body has an amazing ability to heal itself from most injuries/problems if it is in balance. Broken bones, scar tissue, and foreign things in our bodies, (Cholesterol, pins, artificial things) can prevent our body from being able to function correctly in its recouperative/rehabilitative efforts. For a light-hearted view on the drug industry's impact on our lives, see Jib-Jab.com and click on the animation titled "Drugs I Need."

Shoutcast

Raise your hand if you like music. Ok now the other one. Now wave them back and forth and move your hips like you're having a seizure or until someone thinks you've been doused with the Holy Spirit! Of course everyone loves music and the only thing better than hearing your favorite music is hearing it for free. Shoutcast is awesome! There are thousands of online radio stations broadcasting ALL TYPES of music for your listening pleasure. Here are a few of my favorite stations that I listen to regularly.
Groove Salad
Smooth Jazz
Vocal Trance
Chillout Ambient

You'll need some type of media player that is capable of receiving media streams/playlists and Windoze Media Player wont cut it. I HIGHLY recommend Winamp, but Realplayer, MusicMatch, and a few others will do the job.
Enjoy!

Super Bowl Weekend!

Only 2 of us showed up at SMP on Saaturday morning, but Trail Running Newbie Sue Robinette and I had a great time. She's a quick learner and the smile on her face told me she enjoyed the 9.5-10 miles on the rough stuff.
Later that afternoon, several of us trail nerds headed out to Wyco to do some cleanup, trim work, and marking of the course for the Psycho Wyco next Saturday. We did half of the trail in about 4 hours and picked up several bags of trash. I rode my bike while everyone else walked the trails. The hills were a little challenge, but since I wanted to stay with everyone, I did't get to ride fast enough to make it much of a workout until we got to a new section of trail. This is a singletrack section that's VERY tight and twisty and with the ups and downs, you can get anaerobic quickly! While everyone walked though it marking as they went along, I surrendered my marking tape to have a little fun. Did 2 quick loops on that 1 mile section and it was enough for me to consider it a decent workout. Of course that wasn't the end of it for me. When we ran out of tape, I had to ride around the park to go back to the cars to get some more. After riding the roads, I now know that I like running the trails MUCH better than driving or biking the roads. Think BIG HILLS! It hurt, but it was still a good workout that I really needed. It would've been easier if I'd had some food in me. I nearly bonked before we made it to the pub!
For the Sunday morning run out at Wyco, there were 11 runners eager to tackle the almost 11 mile loop in the hills including 3 more newbies! The 5 girls and 6 guys braved temperatures in the teens to get served a healthy dose of fun and punishment on the trails. I was happy to see that Sue came out for this run too. She's a great runner and is just starting out on the trails. I think she's in her late 50s, maybe 60, but she is a strong runner and she's pushed me on more than a few road runs with the KC Track club. I like running with her. She's a very sweet woman and always has a great attitude.
After that run, Markos, his friend Mark, and myself joined Kyle, Stacey, and Shane for finishing the course marking and cleanup. Picked several MORE bags of trash and developed a new appreciation for the hills on the trails. We got a lot of work done and had a great time doing it.

So as far as the workouts went this weekend, I guess I got in about 23 miles running and about 18 biking a mixture of road and trails. Also got in another 8 or so of hiking the hills with the cleanup and marking efforts. I think this week, I'm just going to do some gym work (legs today) and take it easy after Wednesday to rest up in preparation for the ass kicking I'm gonna get in the 50k on Saturday. I'm a little scared about what it's gonna do to me physically, but I'm also excited to get it under my belt! Pain is mandatory, suffering is optional!

Which Superhero are you?

Your results:
You are The Flash

The Flash 85% Spider-Man 70% Iron Man 70% Green Lantern 65% Hulk 60% Wonder Woman 58% Robin 55% Catwoman 55% Superman 55% Supergirl 53% Batman 40%

Fast, athletic and flirtatious.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

We had a good run last night at Wyco. I only did one loop thinking I'll need to save the legs for more gym work as well as running and riding this weekend. We had 8 of us Trail Nerds show up for a couple of 6 mile loops in the rocky, hilly, and often muddy trails of Wyandotte County lake park. I sure didn't feel like The Flash last night, but as I get more speedwork, more gym time, and more cross-training in, the speed will come back hopefully.

"Common sense is not so common"

Some of you may have seen the recent news story pertaining to the lawsuit filed by a man claiming that iPods cause hearing loss. I don't own an iPod, but like most other mp3/audio players, I'm sure they have a volume control on them. Once again, where is the personal responsibility? Will we need to stick warning labels on knives because they might cut something? We already have to warn people that coffee MAY BE HOT! This is horseshit. When are people going to start accepting responsibility for their own actions?
It must be hard to be a judge these days in our judicial system. Deciding what is truely manufacturer culpability and what is negligence in using common sense might not be all that easy. Voltaire said that "common sense is not so common" but deciding just what constitutes "common sense" may be the hard part. Thanks in part to Micro$oft, the media, and many other things, the dumbing down of America continues. People should have to be responsible for their own actions and the resulting outcomes unless there is blatant and willful disregard for safety on the part of a manufacturer. Even then, it should be "consumer beware"! I have no problem whatsoever with people being removed from the gene pool if they ignorantly use a hairdryer in the tub or if injured or killed while doing something else just as stupid which is why we have so many ridiculous warning labels now. Thoughts or opinions?

Needs, wants and personal responsibility.

Occasionally I have a light-hearted conversation with a friend about what we really NEED in life. That conversation is usually precipitated by either he or I fantasizing or drooling over the latest hi tech gadget or automobile that neither of us should buy. After consideration of our place in the world (our being comparatively wealthy Americans) do we have a responsibility to others in the world who are less fortunate including those who can't or wont help themselves? Humanitarians immediately say YES while utilitarians might not always agree. The followers of Neitzche say of course not, but we know that in practice, we have a system that falls somewhere in the middle. When asked, most people would probably describe their self as being a reasonably generous person. Those same people however will walk right past a beggar on the streets with a distasteful look on his or her face. This person representing the general public may occasionally contribute to a charity or program benefitting a hunger cause in a third world country or may give offerings in their local church, but is that enough? How much are we required to do for others if at all? Obviously this is based on opinion which is guided by perspective, but what responsibility do we really have? Why can't we just live and let live and enjoy the fruits of our own labors? Why should we help those who won't help themselves either due to ignorance or apathy? If we do live solely for ourselves and our own interests, then at what point does it become irresponsible? When we're in DEEP debt or when we become a burden to "the system"? There are arguments to be made here for many points of view, but my personal perspective is that we shouldn't protect people from themselves. Whether it be drugs, alcohol, gambling, or other addictions, I don't think they should be outlawed as long as it's legalization doesn't pose a threat to the physical well being of the public.
I dont' agree with smoking, but I don't think it should be outlawed completely. I think people with drug addictions need to treat the root cause of the drug use not the symptom as modern western medicine attempts to do. (usually with drugs) I don't think we should let people starve when we can help them, but I also don't believe we should support entire generations of people who will not help themselves by learning to support themsleves and their own societies by limiting the birth rates. We all know that there are benefits to being disciplined. Benefits of not eating too much or the positive effects of sticking to a disciplined work out routine, or the benefits of saving money for whatever reason. At what point does discipline become too much? At what point does self gratification become too much? Of course some of these points/questions are at the center of our core philosophies, but I'm interested in hearing others opinions on one or more of these matters and why you think that way. Let me know!