Friday, April 28, 2006
On Wednesday, Allison started getting a little cramping and began spotting lightly. I looked it up on the web and found out that it could be something benign and could be perfectly natural, but with us being new to this, we decided to call the Doctor anyway. The Dr reassured us that everything was fine since it was light spotting and said that if we wanted to come in for a checkup anyway, that would be ok. So we made an appointment to see her on Thursday morning. Our first sonogram was scheduled for next week on May 2nd, but they decided to go ahead and do one when we came in to make sure everything was ok. It wasn't. The nurse couldn't find a heartbeat and she could tell that the baby's development was a few days short of being just over 10 weeks which is where we were at. My initial excitement at seeing our new baby for the first time was short lived when we realized that it isn't coming to fruition. Of course we then had a good cry and talked our options over with the Doctor. the Dr was very reassuring and had a sensitive bedside manner and was understanding, but I guess she deals with that pretty often. We've heard how common it is to miscarry and we know that we can (and will) try again, but just having the head knowledge still doesn't assuage our disappointment. It's also strange how we have the feelings of guilt when we KNOW we didn't do anything wrong. The doctor also said that's a common feeling when experiencing a loss like this. I guess time heals all wounds.